For Men only


Blueprint for men

  1. I will be a pursuing follower of Jesus
  • It all starts here. Notice how it is worded. Jesus has to have a man’s heart and passion before that man can be a Godly husband or father. 
  • Everything else comes from this relationship.
  • If this relationship is authentic, it will reflect in our heart.
  • Be a worshiper! Be a learner of His ways!
  • Leave no question where your loyalties are!
  • Your wife will be able to follow your lead when you are following Jesus.
  • Your kids will respect you when you are following Jesus. (On the flip side, if you are not true after His heart, your family will see through it and despise any hypocrisy.)
  • Be aware of the danger of pride. To be Godly means we have to lay down the pride that wants to be right. We must realize that we are sinners, we have corrupted thinking that needs to be changed by Jesus. Until a man comes to the place that he realizes his biggest enemy is his pride, he can not be used of God in the home.
  • Lay down your ways and be teachable.

2. I will be a trustworthy Brother

        3 aspects of a brotherhood:

  • Have a good mentor. A mentor is another man whom you trust, a man who is mature, has been serving Jesus longer and knows where the pitfalls are. If we compare this to a race or journey, this is the person ahead of you that we can follow in the ‘follow me as I follow Jesus’ model that Paul gave us. My favorite story about this is the man with the golden shorts.
  • Invest in a healthy peer structure. If a man can’t let go of old friends, they will hold him back and keep his attention divided. “Bad company corrupts good character…” (see I Corinthians 15)
  • Be a mentor to younger men, to invest in and disciple. This is the man who is following you as you follow Jesus. It can be your son, but there needs to be someone in front you and someone behind you..

3. I will practice total Integrity in the big three: Money, Sex, Power

  • Money, sex, and power are the biggest three pitfalls for a man (after pride of course).
  • The love of money will ruin the heart of man, and it is ‘the cause of all kinds of evil’ Paul said. Side note, one does not have to have money to love it.
  • Sex, porn, lust will ruin the marriage of the man faster than anything. ‘Set no unclean thing before your eyes’.
  • Our culture worships the god of sex, but Godly men worship at no graven image but only at the cross of Jesus.
  • Power and control will ruin the effectiveness of money. The Godly man must give this over to Jesus and let him control it.
  • Total integrity means I will do the right thing even when others don’t, I will do the right thing even if no one will see or know, I will live my life for audience of Jesus every day in my thoughts, my work, my home, and my recreation.

4.  I will lead a transparent accountable life.

  • I have been in many a men’s groups where there was a call for accountability. Men need a relationship where they can call a brother and find the prayer and counsel they need.
  • However, this comes from a humble man. One can’t force anyone to be tranparent, honest, or true. We will only be as accountable as we are vulnerable.
  • We must choose to lead a transparent life, we are only as accountable as we choose.
  • We will live lives with nothing to hide in our schedule, on our computer, with our finances. The things we are tempted to hide are idols in life. We choose to be completely honest with ourself, our spouse, and others. There is no room for lying.

5. I will pursue God’s mission so passionately that is costs me something

  • We need to find Gods Missions even if it costs us time, effort, energy, money
  • You need a mission, but not just any mission, one that you believe in so much that you are truly willing to let it cost you.
  • David said, I will not offer God something that costs me nothing.
  • I choose to invest in eternal treasures over men’s toys.

6. I will love, serve, and pray over my wife.

  • Our marriage is a reflection of the covenant of God.
  • Loving my wife means laying down my life for her, as Jesus did for the church.
  • Serving my wife means honoring her and making sure her needs are met.
  • Praying over her means taking a vested interest in her health.
  • My relationship with my wife will be my number one investment and priority until I die.

7. I will lead my home in Faith

  • Paul taught that before a man can be used in leadership in the church that he must manage his own house well.
  • Our first mission is at home. Always.
  • I will lead my family in prayer
  • I will pursue congruency between what we learn at church and practice in the home.
  • I will be sure the Bible is opened by me in our home.
  • I will lead by my example and actions.
  • The man is to be the spiritual leader of the home. This means he gathers his wife and/or kids for prayer. He makes sure that the tone of the home glorifies Jesus. He leads them in a study of the Bible.
  • The leadership of the man does not mean that he only takes them to church on Sunday and that is all. No, he makes sure that the message in church is brought into his home.

8.  I will keep my priorities in order.

         Pastor Ray Teaches his list in the key of F:

  • Faith (all things related to my walk with God)
  • Family (things related to my marriage and children, and parents)
  • Farming (it has to start with an ‘f’ to work, this is all things related to to my job)
  • Fellowship (this is all related to fun and enjoying life)
  • Football (this is way down the list, but this is all things related to the unnecessary but are enjoyable to a man)

     A “working list” means that I need to tackle these in the right order. Football does not come before my family. Farming does not come before my faith.


9. I will seek wisdom

  • Fight off the urge to judge and impute motives on others.
  • Wise men do not jump to conclusions about others, fools think they know what drives others when they have not asked.
  • I will hold my tongue.
  • Have a thankful heart and attitude. I am fighting the urge to expound on this one.
  • It is the attitude guys. The attitude. Not entitlement, but gratitude.
  • I will seek to be emotionally mature, spiritually solid, dependable, consistent, gentle and careful.
  • Older men are to be temperate, worthy of respect and self-controlled (Titus 2:1), and are to teach this to the younger men ( Titus 2:6)

10. I will not waste my life

  • Have an epitaph focus. Get up every day and try to work on the one phrase that people will write on your tombstone when you have departed.
  • Not hoarding my life, not serving myself, but serving others.
  • Have a cheek that can turn. Yup, you have to be able to turn the other cheek.
  • Have a heart that does not give up easily. It is also called going the extra mile.
  • Care for the widow, orphan and the poor. You have to? Nope, that is what makes it great in a man. He does not have to, but he does.

Recipe for a godly man, husband + Father

"I once had a young married man ask me for a 'recipe' for Godly manhood. Unfortunately, he did not grow up with a model of a man to follow! So, I have been thinking about the "ingredients" of Godly manhood, as well as things that can ruin the whole 'pie'.


1. A pursuing disciple of Jesus. It all starts here. Notice how I worded it. Jesus has to have a man's heart and passion before he can be a Godly husband or father. Everything else comes from this relationship. If this relationship is authentic, it will reflect in our heart. Be a worshiper! Be a learner of His ways! Leave no question where your loyalties are! Your wife will be able to follow your lead when you are following Jesus. Your kids will respect you when you are following Jesus. (On the flip side, if you are not true after His heart, your family will see through it and despise any hypocrisy.)


2. Humility. To be Godly means we have to lay down the pride that wants to be right. We must realize that we are sinners, we have corrupted thinking that needs to be changed by Jesus. Until a man comes to the place that he realizes his biggest enemy is his pride, he can not be used of God in the home.


These next three go as a trio:


3. A good mentor. A mentor is is another man whom you trust, a man is mature, been serving Jesus longer and knows where the pitfalls are. If we compare this to a race or journey, this is the person ahead of you that we can follow in the 'follow me as I follow Jesus' model that Paul gave us. My absolute favorite story about this is the man with the golden shorts. You can read it here.


4. A healthy peer structure. If a man can't let go of old friends, they will hold him back and keep his attention divided. "Bad company corrupts good character..." (see I Corinthians 15)


5. A young man to invest in and disciple. This is the man who is following you as you follow Jesus. It can be your son, but there needs to be someone in front you and someone behind you...


6. Integrity in the big three. Money, sex, and power are the biggest three pitfalls for a man (after pride of course). The love of money will ruin the heart of man, and it is 'the cause of all kinds of evil' Paul said. Side note, one does not have to have money to love it. Sex, porn, lust will ruin the marriage of the man faster than anything. 'Set no unclean thing before your eyes'. Our culture worships the god of sex, but Godly men worship at no graven image but only at the cross of Jesus. Power and control will ruin the effectiveness of money. The Godly man must give this over to Jesus and let him control it.


7. Accountability. I have been in many a mens group where there was a call for accountability. I agree 100% that men need a relationship where they can call a brother and be honest and find the prayer and counsel they need. You just can't force this with anyone or put men in a group and expect them to spill their fears and worries. This takes time to develop, but it is worth it. We will only be as accountable as we are vulnerable.


8. A mission that costs them something (in time, effort, energy, money). You need a mission, but not just any mission, one that you believe in so much that you are truly willing to let it cost you. But remember that Paul taught that before a man can be used in leadership in the church that he must manage his own house well. Our first mission is at home. Always.


9. A passion for faith at home. The man is to be the spiritual leader of the home. This means he gathers his wife and/or kids for prayer. He makes sure that the tone of the home glorifies Jesus. He leads them in a study of the Bible. The leadership of the man does not mean that he only takes them to church on Sunday and that is all, no, he makes sure that the message in church is brought into his home.


10. A working list of priorities. Mine are:

Faith (all things related to my walk with God)

Family (things related to my marriage and children, and parents)

Farming ( it has to start with an 'f' to work, this is all things related to to my job)

Fellowship ( this is all related to fun and enjoying life)

Football ( this is way down the list, but this is all things related to the unnecessary but are enjoyable to a man)

A "working list" means that I need to tackle these in the right order. Football does not come before my family. Farming does not come before my faith.


11. An open life. Nothing to hide in your schedule, on your computer, with your finances. The thing you may want to hide is the idol in your life. Be completely honest with yourself, your spouse, others. There is no room for lying. Some of these next ones were contributed by some other men that I respect.


12. A cheek that can turn. Yup, you have to be able to turn the other cheek.


13. A heart that does not give up easily. It is also called going the extra mile.


14. Care for the widow, orphan and the poor. You have to? Nope, that is what makes it great in a man. He does not have to, but he does.


15. Fight off the urge to judge and impute motives on others. Wise men do not jump to conclusions about others, fools think they know what drives others when they have not asked.


16. Have a thankful heart and attitude. I am fighting the urge to expound on this one. It is the attitude guys. The attitude. Not entitlement, but gratitude.


Finally...


18. An epitaph focus. Get up every day and try to work on the one phrase that people will write on your tomb stone when you have departed. Have anything else to add to the list, email me!"

 

~PR