Matthew 19:3-8 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.
#1 The Foundation is Covenant
What is a Covenant anyway?
Matthew 19:6 Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate
Ecclesiastes 5:4 When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to make a vow than to make one and not fulfill it.
Malachi 2:14 You ask, 'Why?' It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."
Elisabeth Elliot "Modern romance says, 'I love you because of how you make me feel.' The Covenant says, 'I love you because I have promised to, and I will align my feelings with my promise.'
#2 The Work is in Self-Awareness
What is self-awareness?
It is seeing our actions, words, body language, failings, shortcomings through the eyes of another.
Gary Chapman (The 5 Love Languages) “The first person you have to examine is yourself. The reason is that you cannot change your spouse; you can only change yourself. And as you change, the dynamics of the marriage change."
Matthew 7:3–5 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
#3 The Connection is Communication
The goal of communication in marriage is not to 'win' the argument, but to understand the heart of the person you love. Connection is more important than being right." — Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
Villains of communication
Villain #1: The Blamer
Villain #2: The Exaggerator
Villain #3: The Labeler
Villain #4: The Historian
Villain #5: The Game Show host
Villain #6: The Pit Bull -Attacker:
Villain #7:The Turtle
3 Communication Tips
Tip # 1 – Choose Life-Giving words!
Ephesians 4:29 Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth but only what is helpful for the building up of others according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen."
Tip #2 Listen, no really listen.
James 1:19 Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Tip #3 - Speak with Love
Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love
Tip #4 The Glue is Grace
Colossians 3:13 "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
